I've been a self conscious writer since a young age. Labeled with dyslexia and oldest kid of 3 raised in a Texas Republican family with a hippy minded Mom. I was raised with certain expectations but not quite set off on a path for success like you see with other upper middle class families today in regards to the right school and career path. I never did badly in school but never fit a mold and my interest in art and film put me through art school and I spent most of my young adult years focused on my art practice. In the same way I kept my work private, showing only accationaly and focusing on highlighting other people's work through events and curation. My art practice is still in effect but more of a hobby now . After having two kids you get nervous about what your kids and especially their friends and their friends' parents will see in your work. I keep defaulting to some sort of standards created by my parents as confusing as a Republican Hippy upbringing may be.
This is all to preface that I have been keeping track of my astrophotography outings for quite some time and occasionally writing about them. I started this site back in 2019 and quickly removed my posts knowing I just didn't and still don’t have the writing ability, that is to say the discipline to edit my writing every month, to make it decent. Regardless, writing after the fact about my monthly visitor :0 has been another way for me to digest this ritual I've created for myself. Going out every new moon, staying up all night and hunting the night with my camera resets my circadian rhythms and adds perspective to my life.
I have had a few people tell me that they don't like thinking about the infinite universe and I definitely understand the anxiety that comes from that and I feel it too. I think this hobby is different from others. You can definitely elevate any hobby to an obsession or art but the physicality intertwined with the technological and meta physical aspects of syncing to the rotation of the earth,capturing an image, mentally and mechanically processing the ancient light you've grabbed is metaphorically as human activities go unique. Processing the size of what's in the sky, how stars are formed and knowing we are made of those same things forces me to grapple with the unknown regularly and typically makes me feel accomplished and refreshed. When I’m sleep deprived for that day or so afterwards I allow myself to rest to be okay with not being on top of everything especially those things that were always out of my control. Sometimes the images do all look the same but the action of going out, being there is always different. Hence writing about it helps extend the image into story.
Over the next month I’ll be posting posthumously about some of my outings as another exercise in putting myself outside of my comfort zone. Please be kind. I know I’m not the best writer and these posts will be sloppy ; cut and paste of outings and trips I’ve made and my reflections thereof.
Here’s a list of where I’ve gone over the last 5 plus years:
notes on understanding Circadian RHYTHMS
So in order to first tackle my hypothesis that astrophotography can be a powerful behavioral sleep therapy for depression and sleep disorders I have to understand circadian rhythms. Here's one video I found as a start.
So I'm an artist, and this is a random blog that you had to spend time to find. For all you trolls and haters; this is my personal dive into a thought process not a dissertation on anything viable or for sale.